Model Shots!

Check Please! I'm an Asshole.

Dysthymia: Many people just walk around seeming depressed - - simply sad, blue or melancholic. They have been this way all of their lives. This is dysthymia - - a condition that people are not even aware of but just live with daily. They go through life feeling unimportant, dissatisfied, frightened and simply don't enjoy their lives. Medication is beneficial for this type of depression

Yeah so I self-diagnosed myself with this. Why? Cuz I dont feel like going to the doctor. Great. So I figured one of the reasons I'm so depressed is because I'm socially retarded. I dont know if there's a definition for it but I could try to give you one. "When you hang out with your buddy and meet up with his lady friends, and the girls are clearly hitting on you, instead of intiating a conversation you stare about the room blankly. Or better yet, when out in a social setting an attractive girl strategically places herself inches infront of you. In fact shes so close that her hair is touching your face. But you dont have the nerve to say anything to her and the longer you wait the stupider you look cuz your just standing there like a jackass. Also when you leave the vicinity, your friends lady friends move to where you were standing, because you wouldn't dance with the chubby one and that made her feel bad, so in their eyes your some cocky asshole when in reality your just a scared bitch." Thank you. I'm walking through dreamland.

I Can See Clearly Now, The Rain is Gone

My check is deposited directly through my bank, I just checked my monthly credits, and it seems that ever since December I've been losing $50.00 every paycheck, and this past Friday there is a $350 missing from my Paycheck. Test me life.... test me.

Im in love with Gina Carano

I just did my taxes

SO let me get this straight. I spend 50 hours of my week working like a jerk, and the government wants to hold onto a portion of my money. THen come May they give some back to me if they feel like it. But say if I get wise to them and dont let them hold onto my money, I have to pay an "underpayment" fee. WTF am I dealing with the Mafia?! Fcuk this. I'm going to live in a hut on the beach.

ITALIAN WOMEN!!!! Why so Sexy??

I came across this video :
and I'm extremely upset by it. No, I am not upset that an adult is allowing the students to fondle her, I'm upset because one, I'm not one of the students touching her ass, and two, I never had a teacher as hot as this one. I don't know what else to say about this video, other than I'm upset by it, and that I want to meet more Italian women. I know... All women from all cultures are sexy, or sexy is in the eye of the beholder, or there are other things more important than physical appeal.

If you are hot and Italian and are into immature underpaid men, holla at your boy.

Nipples, Memory & Tissues.

Do women get charged with sexual harassment? Is what I'm about to write considered sexual harassment? Mental harassment, perhaps?
Last week I was working out @ the gym and these two hot girls were talking about some other girl, and they were obviously being very loud. The attention whore kind. As they passed me, the really hot one said "Maggie can suck my left tit", and without missing a beat, I stared right at her left tit and it was saluting me. To make matters worse, she sat right next to me and proceeded to perform seated cable rows. Their conversation was very sexual in nature and I was extremely distracted by it. I'm horny all the time, and I get really horny when I'm working out, to the point where I have to fight myself from getting excited, but in cases like these, I have to tie my shoe or start back stretching. Every guy in that room were starring at that girl. Wear a bra if you're wearing a seethru white tanktop, Teasing FCUK.

TOP 5

THese are my top five best cock blcokers out there. In no particular order.
1.gay friends taht pretend to be straight and when you go out act gay
2.parents because living with your mom is not attractive.
3/ gay friends that hacve hot girl friends and dont dance with them or try to hacve intercouse with them in pubnlic.
4 the police
5gay friends that leaeve clubs early cuz their with some hot chick and they want to go back home and bang with while your ass is looking at some fat girlsl thong.
6 gravity

Who me?

Im, thje type of ghuy that chats up a bar teneder and when its time to seal the deal, bounces with a "take care". You dont get VAGINA saying take care./ You get girl scout cookies. I'm the type of guty that runs into a friend from hjigh shcool. ANd that guy runs into his specioal ed teacher. Im the type of guy who heits th e keyboard hard when he dfrunk. im thje type of guy the jum,ps back and forth. line to line at the store. and the line I pick has the guy whos credit card is fuked up. Im the type of guyyyyyyyyyy owoho wacyhes porn before he sleeps buty wiyth no bust off.

News Flash: I dont care.

What has it been like a month since Anna Nicole died and they're still talking about her. Like she did ANYTHING important. Shit are people sad? What is the fascination? Its the titties, huh? Whoopty dee. She didnt even come out with a sex tape. Wat a fuking waste. Was it surprising that she died? I'm surprised it didnt happen sooner. We all know she was a complete ditz. Remember her show when she balloned up? Yeah that shit was GREAT. Nice contribution. And remember when she was drunk at some award show. "I want Kanye West to produce me." I wish I had some mistle toe and the ability to pull my sac over my face so everyone whos into this ish can kiss my balls. Rubbish.

HEY HEY V-DAY

I just got done celebrating Valentine's Day. I would like to thank Miss Claire Dames for a wonderful 52 minutes of fun. I don't think today would of been the same without her help.

My hand is sore because it's all for ME.

It hurts when I bend over

A few things happening this year. I got a job and I moved the fuk out. My ex-roomate was a split-personality unhealthy brain fungus human. I will miss him/her like I miss putting lipstick in prison. -- I like my job, it is an awesome job because I do less and get paid more, but my boss is really unstable and dangerous so I might leave the job so life doesn't leave me. I need therapy, but I can't afford it, so I work out 6 days a week. People at work are like " Hey man, you are looking great, are you dieting?" No, I'm not, I just pump weights so I don't pump bullets. I've pulled my butt muscle at the gym while doing deadlifts, I didn't even know you could pull your ass muscle, and It's goddamn embarrassing because you can't explain to people why youre walking liek one leg is shorter than the other. -- I'm not bad looking, but I don't score when I go out because I say shit liek "Hey are you drunk yet?", or if she is really attractive, I don't say anything at all and avoid eye contact at all cost. I don't fart in public(I consume alot of protein), so I give myself credit like not farting in public is my good deed for the day. Yes, I'm an adult.

Nip or Tuck

So Im at an after hours club. Its around 2 am. Its this swanky narrow piece of rubbish. Security outside is all dress in black and snooty. People waiting in line are all dress in black and snooty. The line is staggered outside, just like a New York club, except this is philly. It's 15 to get in. My cheap ass almost had a heartattack. INside people are dressed sharp and act like assholes. Their big money droppers and their rude as hell. It how you would expect a club to be from a movie. excpet there were no vampires. I wanted to stab someone. SO I see this thick latina chick and I tell my friend " damn I want to fuck that girl". BUt something is off about her. I dont know what. I think she might be a guy. I dont know why. She just gave me that vibe. Later we'er dancing and I notice a bunch of gay dudes. I'm like wutthufuk. Should of expect it. They were playing house music after all. So for some reason one of my buddies tells me that the bartender says that there is one tranny we have to look out for. Whatthefuk a tranny? It must be that chick I saw earlier. I point her out and I was right. I thought a tranny was hot. So now I dont want to dance with any girls anymore. BUt this girl comes up to me and tries to dance. I go for it. At first. But I'm worried. SHes ugly. Like predator ugly. She when we dance I;m feeling her crotch with my thigh to see if she has a package. And when ever she looks up Im checking out her throat. Fuck I dont know. all I nowe is shes ugly enought to be a man so I dip out. I finally see two girls that are so hot athat they have to be girls. My friends is talking to me in my ear about not letting him get in a fight and I'm staring one girl down. We make eye contact. Then she comes to me "Why are you talking about us? We can see you looking at us." SHes not playing. Shes pissed. I pissed off the hottest girls there. Great. Me and my buddy try to diffuse the situation but its too late. They walk off and he syas " shit, they must be trannies."

Miss I am Drunk Waitng to go out on Saturday

And you are3 the winner Miss Gianna Michaels. I think I would have to use a muay thai kickboxing sex technique to pleasure this girl. I love her but my Haines boxer briefs want time and a half. I dont have enough blood in my system to hold a conversation with her,. If i had a magic lamp i would want my shaft to have a jousting match with her cheeeks.

Wolverine hereoes girl

Am I the only one the doesnt knwo that the cheerleader from heroes is like 17? Does it matter thought really? I saw a little more junjk in the trunk lasat episode so that mean s she another step to being a full grown woman and releasing a sex tape or getting a talk show. My penis thinks shes 32, and when we argue it wins. So her name is hayden pantiere or something like that. hayden pantyraid. I dont knwo. I guess thats innapropriate but in a year that s legit. All I knoes is that if I had her power from heroes I would cut my head hofff anmd let grow back all beautiful like a garden or a lake.