It hurts when I bend over

A few things happening this year. I got a job and I moved the fuk out. My ex-roomate was a split-personality unhealthy brain fungus human. I will miss him/her like I miss putting lipstick in prison. -- I like my job, it is an awesome job because I do less and get paid more, but my boss is really unstable and dangerous so I might leave the job so life doesn't leave me. I need therapy, but I can't afford it, so I work out 6 days a week. People at work are like " Hey man, you are looking great, are you dieting?" No, I'm not, I just pump weights so I don't pump bullets. I've pulled my butt muscle at the gym while doing deadlifts, I didn't even know you could pull your ass muscle, and It's goddamn embarrassing because you can't explain to people why youre walking liek one leg is shorter than the other. -- I'm not bad looking, but I don't score when I go out because I say shit liek "Hey are you drunk yet?", or if she is really attractive, I don't say anything at all and avoid eye contact at all cost. I don't fart in public(I consume alot of protein), so I give myself credit like not farting in public is my good deed for the day. Yes, I'm an adult.